I am not sure what the Perry family has done to really tick off the universe. But the universe is definitely not happy. The weekend began pretty okay--Emma and I had our school orientations, which both went well. Then we headed out to my Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party, which was lots of fun. Once we got home, however, the good times fell apart. Saturday night I did not sleep. I could not sleep. The pain in my hips, legs, and ankles wouldn't let me. I was in tears by morning. Dane brought me one of my steroid pills that is supposed to help, along with a Claritin (which is also supposed to help...odd, right?). It did provide some relief for about 3 hours. I was still achy during that time, but no pain. Unfortunately it only lasted a short while and then the pain was back. I couldn't take any other medications until the evening. I felt like the lady from Misery had hobbled my ankles.
Later that day, I cracked a tooth. My dentist isn't open on Mondays...I'm hoping to get an appointment for Tuesday...
Dane and the kids worked tirelessly to get the house and the van clean. They did a marvelous job. Truly they did.
As Dane was mowing the lawn, around 5 pm, he noticed that our outside sewer line was clogged and overflowing...again. Back to Lowe's to rent a sewer snake.
Finally, (as if all that other stuff isn't enough), I noticed that the tissue expander on my left side didn't seem to have the same volume and shape as it had earlier in the week... I called my plastic surgeon and he saw me today. Yes, the tissue expander has sprung a leak. It will have to be replaced, which cannot be done until I am one month done with chemo. That also means that I cannot have any expansions done for about a month after that surgery. Which means that the final surgery won't happen until after the new year...
This last one is tough. The body image issues I currently have, have been tough to deal with. It is difficult seeing yourself in the mirror and seeing two mammoth scars across your chest where your boobs once were. It is even tougher now with one tissue expander nearly fully inflated, while the other one is completely deflated. One side looks kind of "boob-like" while the other one is almost concave.
The breast reconstruction was supposed to be the silver lining in all of this. It still will be, I know. I just don't understand why this is all happening. My doctor said that this is just a little bump in the road. Well, excuse me if I'm a little pissy about another damn bump in the road. I feel like I (and my family) have handled all of this with a lot of poise, grace, and a positive attitude. I don't know how many more unexpected bumps I can take.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...it's just moved a little farther away. We will still make it. We will get past this. It will all work out. I am sure of that. I am so thankful for the amazing support we have from our family and friends. All of your thoughts and prayers (and funny stories and jokes) are truly a blessing. We could not do this without you.
On a truly positive note, today my legs were not in any pain. I have had zero nausea with this new round of chemo. My kids had a wonderful first day of school. Jake said it was AMAZING and that he thinks that this is going to be the best year ever. Emma is super excited about all the new things happening in 5th grade. I had a good first day as well--I think I'm gonna love my students.
Thank you for coming to my pity-party. It's over now. I'm good. Seriously.
Love to you all.
I have been so impressed with your 'poise, grace and positive attitude' in facing this illness but also with your patience and general attitude with your lovely children. You are allowed to have a pity party after all this crap life threw at you in the last few days. I am hoping that the pains do not return, the sewer issues dry up and you really do have a great year. Don't worry about your lopsided boobs--lots of women have those! God bless you.
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